George the Squid's Predictions

Following the success of Paul the Octopus in predicting Germany's scores in the World Cup, we are pleased to announce the signing of the lesser-known but equally talented George the Squid to give his exclusive predictions for the coming Evo-Stik League Division One (South) season. Please note that these opinions are those of our sea-dwelling friend, not me or the football club. Any abuse, death threats or delicious recipe ideas should be directed to George. If you're not a Kidsgrove fan, please have a sense of humour and good luck to all for the season ahead!

Barwell

Curse this alphabetical listing, making me start with a promoted team of which I know virtually nothing. Took a leaf out of Mickleover's book by storming through the Midland Alliance and will no doubt be dangerous again despite the loss of their top scorer, Adam Cunnington.
Last season: Midland Alliance, 1st. George's prediction: 5th

Belper Town

Always seem to be in the thick of it at the right end of the table. Good pitch and ground with one major drawback - Kidsgrove never seem to win there. Some comings and goings which may disrupt their progress and George sees them treading water this season, just outside the play-offs.
Last season: 6th. George's prediction: 6th

Brigg Town

The Zebras have hardly set the league alight over the past few seasons, and there's not a great deal of evidence that things are about to change. Should be good and experienced enough to stay out of trouble though.
Last season: 15th. George's prediction: 19th

Carlton Town

Always a nice place for a quiet night out, Carlton have shown that you don't need to draw big crowds to do well in this league. Will prove difficult to beat, but George reckons they'll be floating in mid-table this time round.
Last season: 9th. George's prediction: 11th

Glapwell

Last season's play-off final losers (can't remember who they beat in the semis) have had an eventful close season. A move to play at Mansfield Town's stadium has been backed with a massive PR drive, but it could be a strange atmosphere in that ground if the expected thousands of fans don't materialise. George also thinks other teams may enjoy the pitch more than the home side. Not an issue for the first game though, as they're behind Westlife in the Mansfield pecking order so have to head back to their old place.
Last season: 3rd. George's prediction: 3rd

Goole

Seem to have settled down into the lower reaches of the table and appear quite comfortable there. Have had a decent enough pre-season but this won't necessarily translate into an improvement in fortunes. Nevertheless, George predicts some progress - up one place from last year.
Last season: 18th. George's prediction: 17th

Grantham Town

Will no doubt be put out be the league's continued insistence on awarding points based on beating other teams in the league, rather than a few FA Cup results in the 1970s. However, the penny seemed to drop in the second half of last season as they put a fantastic run of results together, and will look to continue the momentum into this season. For what it's worth, George thinks Grantham are going to win this tinpot league this year, although this is somewhat irrelevant as they're the clearly the best side, no matter what the results say.
Last season: 11th. George's prediction: Champions

Kidsgrove Atheltic

After last season's play-off disappointment, Kidsgrove have managed to maintain virtually all their first-choice squad with the exception of Tom Schwarz who's off Kiwi-hunting and Matt Haddrell, who's on track to score 250 goals in the NWCL by Christmas. The UniBond League's top scorer last year, Dave Walker will be partnered by Liam Shotton up front, and few teams will score more goals this season. George is confident that this will be driving another promotion campaign, but then he is biased.
Last season: 4th. George's prediction: 2nd (and play off winners)

Leek Town

George really doesn't care.
Last season: 8th. George's prediction: 12th

Lincoln United

Despite spending a fair few seasons in the same league as Kidsgrove, George admits he knows little about Lincoln. So he's put them in mid-table to keep everyone happy.
Last season: 19th. George's prediction: 14th

Loughborough Dynamo

George is going to be highly unpopular in Charnwood and thinks Loughborough will come out on top in the local battle, albeit well down the league. Hopefully it won't rain on our next visit; it got a bit cosy in the stand last year.
Last season: 14th. George's prediction: 15th

Market Drayton Town

I daren't write anything derogatory about our Shropshire friends for fear they'll get upset, pin it to their dressing room wall and use it to motivate themselves. Well supported, brilliant ground (especially the bar) and great floodlights. Had a fantastic first half of the season but then self-destructed (through no fault of their own, obviously)
Last season: 13th; George's prediction: 22nd

Newcastle Town

Finally got out of the NWCL at the 600th attempt with impeccable timing to ensure we've got a local derby we can actually look forward to. Won the league easily last year, but will be expecting more of a test in the Evo-Stik. Clearly have a good squad and should find themselves challenging for honours once more. Shame about the velodrome ground.
Last season: North West Counties 1st. George's prediction: 4th

Quorn

The club with everyone's favourite chairman. As an away fan, you always feel as if the locals don't particularly want you there (I guess they don't need the money). Nice ground, excellent pitch, just need to sort the football team out.
Last season: 20th. George's prediction: 17th

Rainworth Miners' Welfare

A club with high ambitions and confident of doing well. George just hopes Kidsgrove can avenge the embarrassing FA Cup defeat three years ago and has offered to go in goal if needed.
Last season: Northern Counties East 2nd. George's prediction: 16th

Romulus

Crikey, one minute you're founding an all-powerful civilisation, next minute thing you find yourself plying your trade in the Evo-Stik League. Will be little known to many in the league, which may work to their advantage. Comfortable mid-table finish.
Last season: Zamaretto League Midland 8th. George's prediction: 10th

Rushall Olympic

After a bright start to last year where they looked like play-off contenders, The Pics faded away to mid-table mediocrity. George predicts further sinking.
Last season: 12th. George's prediction: 14th

Sheffield

Were truly dreadful in the home game against Kidsgrove last season, which provided the comedy moment of the season as the ballboys were sent off to fetch the numbers "4" and "5" for the scoreboard. Many people's tips for the title but George thinks they'll spend too much time promoting their oldest club in the world status and picking up strange awards to mount a challenge.
Last season: 5th. George's prediction: 9th

Shepshed Dynamo

It's been a turbulent close season for our Butt Hole friends. The powers-that-be and supporters have been at odds over the colour of kits (1-0 to the fans!), and they've been left to rebuild their squad in a situation reminiscent of Kidsgrove's three years ago. Some poor friendly results means George has a gloomy prediction, but hopes he's completely wrong and it's the start of a Shepshed revival.
Last season: 17th; George's prediction: 21st

Spalding United

There are many unsolved mysteries in the world, and how Spalding are still in this league is right up there. However, here they are and George reckons some new signings will keep them out of trouble this time around.
Last season: 21st; George's prediction: 20th

Stamford

Their fans seem brimming with confidence about their prospects this year, and they were one of the best teams to visit the Seddon Stadium in 2009/10. Should improve this year, but it may be one season too early for them to really threaten.
Last season: 10th. George's prediction: 8th

Sutton Coldfield Town

George initially had Sutton Coldfield down as a bold choice for champions but got cold tentacles and has now revised his thoughts downwards. Missed the play-offs in the Zamaretto League by a single goal and a similar fate may await them.
Last season: Zamaretto League Midland 6th. George's prediction: 7th

Last updated: 21st August 2010, 11:09

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